As I get older, and life continues to pass me by at an alarming rate, I have really started to wonder why people wait for things. I understand putting things off because you are saving money for that dream trip, or working towards a particular goal, but the ones who really get me are the “someday” people. You know the ones. “Someday I will take that trip I’ve dreamed of my entire life.” “Someday I will treat myself to that purse/pair of shoes/day at the spa.” “Someday I will try mountain biking/skiing/yoga/insert activity of choice here.” “Someday I will take the dance class I’ve wanted to take my whole life”. “Someday we will get together for coffee/dinner/desert.”
I understand not wanting to or not being able to spend money for fancy trips or handbags but trying new things or spending time with people you care about shouldn’t be something that you keep putting off for another day.
I know that I have a list a mile long of my someday things, but I am always actively trying to figure out ways to cross them off. I also know that life is too short to push everything to the backburner too.
Live! Take the dance class. So what if you are in your 30’s or 40’s or even older. Throw on your sneakers and learn some hip hop. Grab some heels and learn to salsa. Heck, grab yourself a pair of tap shoes or ballet slippers if that is your thing. Get out there and experience it. Allow yourself to be silly, to laugh at yourself, to fall down. It’s worth it, I promise.
Haven’t biked in 20 years? I don’t recommend you suit up in armour and hit the blue runs on the Whistler bike park or anything, but a ride around your local park might do you a bit of good. Unless you put a funny little dog in a basket on the front of your bike, then you might look a bit like the old lady from The Wizard of Oz, but even then. Once you are past the wobbly stage, if downhill is your thing? Go for it. Again, I would recoomend you start slowly – no one wants to spend the next 8 weeks in a full body cast. But do it. Try it. Experience it. What have you got to lose? Same goes for yoga or skiing or snowboarding. Want to try tai chi but think you are too young? Think again! You may find an awesome new hobby because you gave yourself permission to try something new.
That is what it is all about. Giving yourself permission to be free, to let go of expectations and what you think others will say/care/do. Who cares? Really, I mean it. Who cares? Are you living your life for other people? If your answer is yes, I would recommend that you stop. At the end of your life, you are not going to look back and say to yourself “oh I am so glad that I worried about what others would think about me and tried to please them or meet their expectations.” Nope. You are going to look back and be glad you took that zip-lining trip or danced on the beach in the moonlight or skinny-dipped in the lake. Life is too short for regrets. It is simply too short. We are only on this Earth for a finite amount of time, and we really need to try and enjoy the time that we are given.
That friend that you see every once in a while at the grocery store and think you’d like to have coffee with “someday”? Call them up and plan a date. You don’t know if they will be here next week or next month and personally, the last thing I want is to regret not seeing them or spending time with them when I had the chance. I lost a dear, lifelong friend unexpectedly and I wish I had had the chance to have one more coffee with her. Besides, what is the worst that can happen if you *do* meet up? You might reconnect and remember what made you like each other so much, or you may remember why they became more of an occasional friend. You owe it to yourself to give it a shot though, don’t you?
Say “I love you” or “I appreciate you” or “You inspire me” to the people you care about. Give hugs and kisses and cuddles. Hold hands, link arms, arm wrestle and start pillow fights. Laugh loud and hard and long, till your sides hurt and you are crying tears of joy. Eat pastries and chocolate and cheese and drink martinis and wine and lemonade. Dance. Remember how you felt when you were little and the music moved you? Be that way again. Don’t care what anyone else thinks. If they don’t like it they don’t have to look, but chances are if you allow yourself to let go and have fun, they are going to want to not only watch, but join in. Watch stupid movies and read fluffy books. Write letters and cards on paper and send them in the mail. Send silly texts full of emojis just because you can. Challenge yourself and the people around you to drink in the moments of the day that fill your soul, find joy in the little things and the big things and just be. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and to trip and fall. What matters is what you do afterwards. We lose so much of the fearlessness and bravery that kids have as we grow up, and it becomes more about looking good than about feeling good.
I want to feel good darn it. I give myself permission to follow my heart and to dance to my own music, however that may look. And hey. If you see me stomping it out or shaking my thing, come join me, won’t you? I promise I won’t laugh. And if you do? I promise not to trip you, much. Forget someday, I say we live now. Are you with me?