A post surgery update

First off, let me apologize for the lack of new posts over the last little bit. Please allow me to explain... As you may or may not know, I had major hand surgery not quite two weeks ago and the recovery has been a lot tougher and far more painful than I had anticipated. I've been a wreck and have been struggling (mostly unsuccessfully) just to get through each day, and that hasn't allowed me any … [Read more...]

Why is it so hard to ask for help?

Do you find it hard to ask for help? When it is offered, can you take it, or do you make excuses about why you can't or shouldn't. I struggle both with the asking and the accepting parts, and I've been trying to figure out why over the last few days.  I will happily offer my ear to listen, my shoulder to cry on, or to help out my friends in any way that I can, but when it comes to actually … [Read more...]

I reached out my hand…

Ever have those days when you feel so very alone and wonder if anyone aside from the people in your house think of you or would notice if you just quietly disappeared? Ever have those days when just the mere thought of something else going wrong is enough to bring you to tears? Ever have those days when you feel like throwing your hands in the air, dropping to your knees and screaming at the … [Read more...]

Oh, yeah, hey there jealousy

I see pictures on Facebook and Instagram of my friends in their workout or dance attire, sharing their skinned knees and sore feet from dance practice, bruises from pole or sore muscles from working out. I see people flexing and squatting or lifting heavy weights, then sharing stories about blown knees and torn arms and tweaked backs. I hear story after story after story about people with injuries … [Read more...]

Yesterday I beat myself up

Yesterday I beat myself up. Not in a physical sense, of course, but emotionally. I don't know what was going on in my head but nothing I did was right. I was all over my own case about every little thing, and basically spent a good chunk if the day telling myself that I wasn't "enough". Honestly? I wasn't even going to share this with you, but I pledged to be real about things around here this … [Read more...]

Uncertainty and a state of limbo

Have you ever felt like you didn't quite know where you belonged? Due to a number of circumstances that have taken place in my life over the last couple of years, including a few fairly major injuries that are persisting much longer than I had ever anticipated, I am feeling like I'm at a bit of a crossroads right now. There is so much uncertainty and I feel lost. A couple of days ago, I was … [Read more...]

Bring on the word for 2015

Do you have an intention word for yourself for the year? Every year, for the last few years, I have come up with a word that I am going to try and embody for the upcoming year. Last year, my word was perservere and that I did. I had some pretty incredible highs and the lowest lows of my entire life, which have left me reeling. The year before that, it, and I, was strong. This year, however, … [Read more...]

Here I am -vulnerable, open and raw

I'm sorry I've been a bit MIA this week. I keep having all these thoughts, but when it actually comes time to out the thoughts into words, they just don't want to come. I've been a bundle of emotions lately, and everything I want to say just doesn't come out right. I feel vulnerable, open, raw, everything that should, in theory, make for a great post or twelve, but that rawness just feels too raw … [Read more...]