You’ve stopped talking

"You've stopped talking", my friend said. Huh? We are talking right now, I thought. "Why have you stopped talking?" she pressed. "You haven't written much in the last little while." "I've been so sick i could barely think or breathe for weeks. Also, I haven't felt like I had anything much to say, I guess. I think of things to say but then I'm too scared to say them." I replied. "Bull. That is not … [Read more...]

Buy the damn bikini

OK, I debated posting this, but after reading something an amazing friend just experienced, here goes. Its long, so bear with me 'k? This afternoon, I bought a bikini. Not a tankini. Not a cut out one piece, but an actual bikini. You guys. A bikini. Anyone who knows me well knows that decades (literally) of body loathing and low self esteem and confidence have taken their toll, and I haven't … [Read more...]

I hated my nose

I hated my nose. It was small, flat, wide and people would often tell me it was "cute". I hated it when people said that, or would draw attention to it. It is a Filipino nose, inherited from my Dad's side of the family - that distinctive nose that so many have and makes us easily recognizable when you know what to look for. I longed for the pointed, triangular noses of my friends, pert and … [Read more...]

What’s on your scaredy-cat list?

I've been trying really hard to be more authentic and real, and to really enjoy and live in the here and now as much as possible. It's been brought home to me in a very real way lately that none of us can predict the future, and as much as I wish I had a crystal ball, I know that the next best thing is to try and enjoy all the moments we do have. That being said, no matter how much I am trying … [Read more...]

Natural beauty and loving yourself

Recently, there has been a meme floating around Facebook. I'm sure it's been in other places too, but that is where I became aware if it. People are calling it the true beauty project or something like that, and it involves you taking a natural picture of yourself. No makeup, no styled hair, nothing but you and your natural, beautiful self. I was tagged by a friend a few days ago, and at first, … [Read more...]

Hey you – yes, you…

Hey you. Yes, you. I see you looking over your shoulder. Don't. It's you I want to talk to. Why, you ask? Let me tell you. You are incredible. You are beautiful. You are special. Don't give me that look. I know what I'm talking about. No? Ok then. You, in your sweat pants and t-shirt, with your hair in a messy ponytail. You look in the mirror and you see the bits of hair that just won't stay … [Read more...]

What’s your excuse?

I have been mulling this one over and over in my head. Should I wade in? Should I keep my mouth shut? If I do wade in, will I piss people off or open myself up to all kinds of nastiness? If I keep silent, am I part of the problem? I don't know the answer, to be honest, but I can't be scared to not say anything either. This week, a picture of fitness model and mom Maria Kang has been making the … [Read more...]

Putting myself out there

This video was taken of me doing a pole routine about a year ago. It was part choreography, part freestyle, and all me. I had seen videos of myself on the pole before, and always thought to myself things like "ugh, do I really look like that?" and oh man, no one needs to see that". You know, all f the negative things that we say about ourselves but would never, in a million years, dream of saying … [Read more...]