First off, let me apologize for the lack of new posts over the last little bit. Please allow me to explain…
As you may or may not know, I had major hand surgery not quite two weeks ago and the recovery has been a lot tougher and far more painful than I had anticipated. I’ve been a wreck and have been struggling (mostly unsuccessfully) just to get through each day, and that hasn’t allowed me any opportunity to get posts out, answer emails, or do much of anything aside from rest, watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix, cry and feel sad for myself, and rest some more. Ha.
I have been really thankful for my family and the friends who have called, texted, messaged and checked in on me. I was unbelievably touched when, much to my surprise, a giant, beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived at our door with love all the way from England.
My mom actually came for a sleepover one night to help out, laden with treats like rice pudding, Snickers yogurt and Mini Wheats, all easy to eat, yummy things that I have pretty much been subsisting off of since, haha. That was such a great help and I am so fortunate to have my mom to do that.
It’s been a lot harder than I thought to do anything for myself, and I have to lean pretty heavily on my two dudes. If you want an idea of just how difficult it is to do any and everything with one hand completely out of commission, whack your hand really hard a few times with a sledgehammer, then tie it firmly behind your back, then try to go about your day to day tasks. You will be surprised at how little you can actually do with only one hand.
I am grateful for my husband who has patiently dressed me, brushed my hair, gotten my medications, and taken such good care of me. Without him, I don’t know where I’d be.
Then there is Q. I am so unbelievably grateful for this kid of mine. I’m still not very self-sufficient (as in hardly at all) and can’t do much of anything at all right now. Anyone who knows me well will know how very difficult that is for me and we all know how hard it is for me to ask for help. Over the weekend, my husband was working and it was just Q and I. Without complaint, he helped me with anything and everything I needed, just hung out and played or watched Netflix or cuddled with me. He read to me and gotten me water, snacks or anything else he though I might like without me asking.
I feel constantly guilty for putting this burden on my family, and especially my little dude, but I know I have no choice right now. Q is fiercely protective of me, and goes out of his way to make things better when he can. I worry that this is going to be a big memory that sticks with him, and someday I don’t want him to look back and think that this is all I ever was, you know?
I don’t know how I was so blessed with such an amazing boy, but I am thankful every single day that I was. His kind and generous spirit shines through in everything he does and I just feel so lucky. On a whim, and out of curiosity, I got him to do the 5 Love Languages for Kids test today, and his love language is Words of Affirmation. This was interesting for me to learn and even though I tell him all the time how much I love and appreciate him, now I know that these words are extra special to him.
I’m a lucky mummy. 💜💜
I’m a lucky wife. 💜💜
In these moments, these hours, these days, when the pain gets so bad I want to yell, it can be tough to find positive things. These are a few that have really kept me going lately.
I can’t promise that I will be back to normal right away, but did want to explain what was going on and keep you all in the loop. Now that you know a bit about the why, I’m hoping you’ll forgive me for being a bit absent of late.